against diamonds and roses

Sometimes I think that big, grandiose displays of love are really taking the easy way out. While I'm not denying that thought and effort do go into them, it just seems like there is little creativity or originality. Like McSteamy said to McDreamy, "They're cliches for a reason, because they work." I think it takes a lot more effort (and possibly shows truer love, although that would be impossible to judge) to be simple, original, and consistent in how you demonstrate your love to someone. And I'm not just talking about romantic love here either.

One of my favorite speakers/Christian leaders is John Dawson. He is an international director of YWAM. He has a great message called, Letting Love Reach It's Destination. The whole message is basically summed up in saying that love doesn't do any good unless it is expressed. (Or as James Taylor would put it, shower the people you love with love.)

I think we could all learn something valuable from Sydney, who is 5 and is one of my absolutely favorite people in the world. She and her sister were making valentines for their classmates. Shelby's were so creative and cute. Sydney's were simply decorated, slightly misspelled, a little hard to read, and amazingly thoughtful. Before she began each one she stopped and thought, "What does Kennedy (or Regan or Alayna) like to do?" And then she tailored her message to each individual. It was an astounding thing to watch.

I wanted to share the story of St. Valentine. I haven't taken the time to look it up, so this is probably a bit flawed. But to the best of my memory here it is:

Back in the early centuries of the church, when persecution was the norm and not the exception, there lived a man named Valentine. He was a church leader in an area near a Roman army outpost. At that time it was illegal for soldiers younger than a certain age (or possibly below a certain rank) to be married. Rather than see these young men fall to temptation Valentine conducted clandestine marriages for Christian soldiers. One day a young couple was found out and the soldier sentenced to death. Valentine went to the prison and offered his life in exchange for the young soldier's freedom. His offer was accepted. As he sat in prison awaiting his date with the wild beasts he befriended the daughter of his jailer: a young, blind, and mistreated girl. He shared with her the good news of Jesus, and as he was led away to the arena she was healed and received her sight. One of the first things that she saw was the joy on Valentine's face as his soul went to meet it's Lover.

That is what St. Valentine's Day is all about. Remembering that "greater love hath no man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends." And I just think that sometimes all the little ways we lay down our lives, day in and day out, matters just as much as a great big way. Maybe more.

looking backwards and forwards

I'm going to do something I don't do very often and write a (potentially) long post. I don't normally do this because I almost never read long posts on other people's blogs, at least not in their entirety. (sorry friends) I've just been thinking about somethings lately that I want to say. And it all stems from the election of our new leader.

First, I've been thinking of Former President Bush. As I watched the inauguration yesterday one of my many emotions was sadness for him. Here is a man who took on an extremely difficult job and did it to the best of his abilities and according to what he felt was right. Even if we don't agree with his decisions maybe we can acknowledge that he made them according to his personal convictions. And yet he has been the brunt of scorn, ridicule, and hate. In the process of our new beginning personified in President Barack Obama it seems as if we have already forgotten what and who has gone before. This is not a place to nitpick through Bush's 8 years as president, nor am I the person to do so. I just wanted, in some small way, to honor this man who stayed true to himself and his sense of right and wrong.

In the current edition of Relevant magazine (with Pete Greig on the cover !) the editors note is called The Untold Story. In the opening paragraphs editor Cameron Strang says this, "Recently, I was reminded of one of the most significant untold stories of our generation, and it happens to center on our outgoing president. It's a story so important that I contend a hundred years from now, it will actually be the primary thing history uses to define President George W. Bush's administration. And it has gone virtually unreported by the media."

Strang goes on to tell the story of PEPFAR (the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief). PEPFAR has increased the number of people in Africa living with AIDS who receive anti-retroviral medication from 50,000 in 2003 to surpassing the original goal of 2 million people in 2008. As a result of the medication and simultaneous education a further 8 million people have not contracted the disease who otherwise would have. "PEPFAR is touching every aspect of African society, it's changing the course of Africa's future." The success of the program led to Bush pushing through a tripling of its funding this past summer.

"A president must have a firm set of principles from which he will not deviate. I believe in the universality of freedom, and I believe freedom is universal because of an almighty God. It's not just freedom from tyranny that the US must become involved in, I believe it's freedom from disease, freedom from hunger, freedom from deprivation. If you believe in the universality of freedom, then you should not shy away from doing your duty." -George W. Bush

That's all for looking back, now for looking forward.

I was very moved watching the inauguration yesterday. So many things were vying for my attention. I was constantly reminded of my third grade teacher, Elise Johnson now Foster, who taught us about many American heroes during Black History Month in February 18 years ago.

I was challenged by President Obama's focused and almost militant speech. Phrases like, "Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord." and "Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. "

I am looking forward with hope that our new president will be more than someone who inspires and gives good speeches, but that he will be a true leader, a man of action and determination. I am looking forward to seeing a new birth in our country, let us "be the participants in making it so."

I know that some of my friends from other countries were probably cringing at some of President Obama's statements, and I understand those cringes. But deep in my heart I am still proud to be an American. I believe in the strength of a nation "conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." I look at history and I see how my country was the first of many to embrace these ideals. And yes, I know that the road has been rocky and we've had to backtrack now and then. But we continue to move forward, we do not give up. And I am proud to be from the "land of the free and the home of the brave."

Here is a slideshow put together by a childhood friend of mine, actually the son of my third grade teacher, who is an amazing photographer of election night in Grant Park in Chicago.

I guess that's all.

the books of 2008

At the end of last year several people were talking about how one of their New Year's Resolutions was to read one book every week. This prompted my curiosity, how many books do I read in a year? So I decided to keep track. I read 54 books this year, having just finished the whopper Don Quixote this afternoon. And so here, in no particular order, are the books I read in 2008:

Plus "Adventures in Reconciliation" for which I couldn't find a picture.

to remember

This is my friend Stephen. He is in costume as Super Guy, a character he became for the kids ministry at our church. Six years ago today Stephen died in a horrible car accident. He was 23. More than anyone I have ever known Stephen lived a life full of Jesus. He was always encouraging, always spurring us on to go harder after God.

I always think it interesting that Stephen died on November 1st. All Saint's Day. A day that historically has been set aside to remember the followers of Christ who have gone ahead of us. Those who have triumphed over this life and are enjoying being with Jesus in the next.

I often say these verses from Hebrews chapter 12 to myself. They come right at the beginning, after chapter 11 where we have been told again the stories of so many who followed after God, many of them despite never seeing a fulfillment of what he promised:

"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"


I guess what I want to say, to myself more than anyone, is, "COME ON!" "Don't quit, don't grow weary while doing good. Go hard after God. Don't stop, keep pushing, it's going to be worth it." And if I listen hard enough I can hear Stephen saying the same thing.

a ladies quiet day and some long due feedback

Today Adri, a new friend from Kansas City Marisa, and I went with a lady from the Boiler Room, Steph Heald, to a Ladies Quiet Day in north London. Steph was the speaker for the day and we went along to set up a prayer room and to help run some prayer activities. The day, according to my understanding, was run by two sister churches. One Anglican, and the other Catholic. (I think.) We had a wonderful time, and it seemed like the ladies who came did too.

I grew up in churches that wouldn't really be considered traditional. First in Assemblies of God and then interdenominational churches that would probably be labeled Charismatic. I'm not really familiar with liturgy or standing in line to receive communion or anything associated with "high church." Not being familiar with these things, naturally, I've always found them very intriguing. (This is something else I've remembered over the last few weeks.)

We closed the day with a Eucharist service. It was beautiful. There I was, standing in a row with my hands clasped plaintively to receive the bread. I found tears filling my eyes hearing the words, "Jesus' body given for you." Just listen to this:

"Take and eat, for the peace of all nations. Take and drink, for the love of all people. For you have shown us the path that leads to life. And this feast will fill us with joy."

"Almighty God, we thank you for feeding us with the body and blood of your Son Jesus Christ. Through Him we offer you our souls and bodies to be a living sacrifice. Send us out in the power of your Spirit to live and work to your praise and glory. Amen."

"The feast is ended: depart in peace. The work of the world lies before us. Accomplish justice, with grace. May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us all, evermore. Amen.

(The bold parts were what we all said together.)

It was absolutely beautiful. I really feel like we have so much to learn from those we so easily pass off as being no longer relevant or valid. These are the people who are carrying on the tradition of centuries of praise to God. We're so quick to see where things have gone wrong. Somehow, there must be a way to balance out the warnings of history with its examples.

I was thinking a lot about this at the 24-7 Euro Gathering. These are a few scriptures that came to mind:

"Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you." -Ephesians 6:2&3

"GOD's Message yet again: 'Go stand at the crossroads and look around. Ask for directions to the old road, the tried-and-true road. Then take it. Discover the right route for your souls.'" -Jeremiah 6:16

"No one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, 'The old is good.'" - Luke 5:39

Something that has become very important to me is the idea that, as a new generation, as members of what would be called "fresh expressions of church," we cannot forget to honor the fathers. To honor those who have gone before us, paving the way for us to walk in. The only reason we are able to go as far and as high as we are is that we have the trails they blazed to walk on, their shoulders to stand on. We must remember this.

One of the sessions at the Gathering was on Ezekial 37 and the valley of dry bones that became an army. Something that was said really stuck with me: "We have to remember that when we see something dead, it means that there was life there at one time." I'm beginning to feel like a big part of my calling may be looking for the life that still remains in places others have passed off as being dead. Like Miracle Max in The Princess Bride, "Mostly dead is slightly alive." God can use slightly alive. After all, he is the Great Miracle Worker, the Breath of Life.

The picture at the top is of a church in Glendalough in the Wicklow Mountains of Ireland. It's a stone church that dates from the 12th century, although there were other wooden churches on the site centuries before that. I have never felt God's presence any stronger than I did the afternoon I spent praying in that roof-less, almost wall-less church.

I know I've gone on quite a while here. I usually try to avoid writing really long posts. But I hope you don't mind if I leave off by quoting a bit more of the liturgy from this afternoon.

Flame - dancing Spirit, come
Sweep us off our feet and
Dance us through our days.
Surprise us with your rhythms;
Dare us to try new steps, explore
New patterns and new partnerships;
Release us from old routines
To swing in abandoned joy and
Fearful adventure. And
In the intervals,
Rest us
In your still centre.
Amen.

some very good advice

A couple years ago I spent several months listening to a teaching called "Living Your Destiny" by Graham Cooke on repeat. Really life changing stuff, let me tell you.

One thing he suggested was to write out prophetic words you have received in bullet form so it is easy to access them and to recognize themes that the Lord is speaking over you. This past weekend the stress of not knowing what my next step is caught up with me. I found it very helpful to read over the things the Lord has said about me. It was like giving my spirit a long, cool, refreshing drink of water.

Something that was especially relevant to the place I'm at was this one:

"You are standing in front of a big door with a doorknob too big for you to turn, but you try anyway. As you reach up, the door swings open on its own and you walk right through."

We recently had some visitors from the States by way of Tunisia who had a young son. We were talking about the sun going down and his dad asked him, "What's going to happen in the morning Riley?" And Riley said, "The sun will come up." "What does it mean when the sun comes up?" "That God is faithful."

Even though one of the main reasons the stress had caught up with me is physical weariness from the sun waking me up between 4:30 and 5:00am the last three weeks it is good to remember what that sunrise really means.

sometimes i catch myself by surprise

I was just reading through my journal from last term, working on a timeline of my time in Transit that I started in January, when I found this prayer written on January 22:

I would like to learn how to be uncomplicated. How to see things simply, through the eyes of trust. Father, I thank you that you promise to give me hope for the future and that you promise to give me the future I hope for. I thank you for promising to place desires in my heart and to give me the desires of my heart. I thank you that all of your promises are sure and never-failing. I thank you for being good and trust-worthy. Thank you for your love that is never-ending. You look inside my heart and see things that I can't see.

for lacy

Because I'm not feeling especially clever or creative right now... missing you too much for that(thanks for shattering me with your words) ... here is one of our favorite poems to tell you how I feel about you until I can compose myself enough to try and express it myself:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-e.e. cummings

keep it simple

"Man was created to love God and enjoy Him forever."

Just a little reminder...

simple acts of love

I've just come back from a Boiler Room meeting. We had a lovely service celebrating Advent, expecting Jesus' coming. As I listened to the different readings I was reminded of these thoughts I posted back in July:

serving savior
"Today I read the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet in John. Isn't it interesting that he did this to "show them the full extent of his love." The simplest, most mundane act of serving was how Jesus showed the full extent of his love. Not in the huge, grandiose act of dying to save them, but in washing their dirty, smelly feet. (You know, that's also how Mary of Bethany showed her love for Jesus.) Of course, that ultimate display showed the ultimate love. Big, widespread, overwhelming love. But sometimes it isn't the o'er sweeping acts of love, the giant incomprehensible acts that keep us going day to day. They are too big, too unfathomable, to be the thing we hold onto, and Jesus knew that. So he covered all the bases. He showed his love, not just by an ultimate sacrifice, but in simple acts of service. In small words of encouragement and comfort, not just sweeping exhortations and challenges. And isn't that, in the long run, the reason that we love him?'


Jesus, thank you for all of the ways that you show your love for me. I don't take any of them for granted, I treasure each of them.

a shepherd's prayer

I've had a hard time "getting in the Christmas spirit" this year. Being in another country where things are celebrated in different ways is a big part of that. For some reason holidays seem to be really dependent on nostalgia. At least for me.

But I was thinking about this song from my childhood. A rather cheesy 80s Christmas song called "A Shepherd's Prayer." It's the story of a shepherd from some one's nativity set crying out because he has been placed too far away from Jesus.

"Move me closer. Move me closer. Move me closer to the child. Let me see him. Let me hold his hand. Move me closer to the child."

I was just thinking, isn't this what Christmas is about? Remembering that Jesus came close to us? Remembering that we need to come close to him? Remembering that we need to bring him close to those around us?

And so I'll echo the prayer: "Move me closer..."

all saints day

This video is a friend of mine, one of the worship leaders of my church in Charlotte, telling the story of our friend Steven. He died five years ago, today. I can honestly say that his death changed my life. Today, on the day set aside to remember those who have gone before us, I hope and pray that his story and John Mark's song change yours.