(holding my free Starbucks and pointing at my "I voted" sticker.)
I shall not keep you long. I have called you all together for a Purpose. Indeed for three Purposes! First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that 26 years is too short a time to live amongst such excellent and admirable people. I don't know half of you so well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. (That isn't necessarily true.) Secondly, to celebrate my birthday. And thirdly... well actually, as I don't plan to disappear, that's it!
And later I'm getting free Ben and Jerry's!